This time isn’t about Mr. Possibility, or how he misses me or how he doesn’t. It’s not about the fact he didn’t turn out as I had hoped or that I didn’t kick him out of my life sooner than later. It’s not about who moves on first or last. It’s not about the relationship that was or the relationship that I wanted. It’s not about how I feel right now, how I felt six months ago or two weeks ago. It’s not about how I’ll feel tomorrow. It’s not about the fact that it hurt – or that at times, it stillhurts.
It’s about the fact that I’m letting myself feel it. And by feeling it, but forgiving myself for my tardiness and my endless optimism in love, I become a better me than I was before. While it may make me feel incredibly silly, naive and immature to have a broken heart that lusts after the past – it’s really not about how I feel, it’s about how I heal. Or rather, that I am.
Because while we all experience pain, we process it differently. Because while we all want to not be bothered when the other person doesn’t seem to be upset, you can’t release the pain if you don’t let yourself feel it – or in my case, write it. Because while love is never quite equal, everyone we’ve loved – be it for three years or thirty – affects us in someway, positive or negative. Because while our friends buy us a drink at the start of the end, we buy them drinks at the end of the end, thanking them for their patience with our stupidity and our ability to obsess, even months after the fact. Because while we want to be brave and strong, resilient and uncompromising, there is nothing that dies slower or more painful than a dream – especially one that involves someone you really cared about. Because while the wrong person can seem like the right, the person who matters the most isn’t the one who got away or the one who stays, it’s the person you are after you walk away.
Can we just talk about the fact that suddenly it’s winter outside? I mean, what?
When I left it was in the 80s outside. Then, I went to places that are hot and tropical. I come back, and I’m wrapped in blankets and socks and shivering. And apparently the mountains got two inches of snow.
I’m super confused.
Dane Cook News of the Day: NBC announced today that it has signed a development deal with Dane Cook for a half-hour sitcom starring the controversial comedian.
While many networks sought to sign with Cook, it was the lowest-rated network that eventually snagged the stand-up comic. The as-yet-untitled show is expected to air next Fall.
Cook’s previous forays into broadcast TV land include an unaired sitcom called Cooked, and a recurring role on the ABC comedy series Maybe This Time. He most recently guest starred on an episode of Louis C.K.’s FX show Louie, where accusations of Cook’s joke-stealing were addressed.